It's ba-aaack!

So, it's back. My on-again, off-again relationship with insomnia. I've had trouble sleeping since I was a kid. My mom would vouch for that. Anyone who has ever lived with me can attest to it...or maybe not because they all seem to SLEEP! It's not just that I have trouble getting to sleep, or staying asleep, it's that sleep is always so close yet so unattainable. I sound like a commercial for the butterfly pill where you're not supposed to operate heavy machinery. Here's my point: I want to be able to lie down in bed and not think of the 100 things I need to complete tomorrow or 99 I did not complete today. I want to lie down, close my eyes and go to sleep like when I was a ki...oh, right, I've had these issues all my life. Maybe it's because I couldn't sleep as a kid that I have trouble sleeping as an adult. I do some of the right things. I have a routine that I use on occasion. I do yoga at least once a year. I don't drink before bed, except when I've been out drinking.
Here's the cruel irony: I love sleep. The one thing I miss most about my life before kids (& now the dog) is sleep. I miss being able to sleep in until it hurts to stay in bed one minute longer. I would relish an uninterrupted nap while a predictable yet highly entertaining Lifetime Movie plays in the background. I think sleep is underrated by those who come by it easily.  Maybe it's that we we want we can't have. I don't know, but sleep is an amazing thing.
My biggest issue is with others who can literally fall asleep sitting in a chair in the middle of a room full of people. What the hell? I can't sleep in my own amazing bed, with great sheets, in perfectly controlled comfort, with not a lot of noise. And you can fall asleep while I'm talking to you? In a room with other people? In a wooden chair no less! Seriously? Most annoying is my own life partner. Is it necessary to flaunt that you can sleep anywhere at any time? Apparently so.
Here's my point. I love sleep. I want sleep. I need sleep. I can't sleep. I don't see this getting better anytime soon.

Builds Character

Builds character. That's my standard statement to my kids when they're dealing with something difficult. It could be a hard situation at school, it could be dealing with people they don't care for, it could be cleaning up dog poop or puke or pee, it could be loading the dishwasher. It's kind of a joke around here. Anytime the kids start complaining about having to do something or a trying situation they'll say, "I know. It builds character."
I guess I didn't really expect them to display the character building until later in their lives. I imagined one of them in or after college would display some character in dealing with not getting along with a professor, changing majors and following their heart, dealing with a relationship and coming out of it having learned something. I didn't expect I'd get to see it in the way it unfolded tonight.
During dance recital all was going swimmingly (a term I think is ridiculously underutilized). All was in place, running smoothly, the dancers looked great. I was enjoying Copelia and watching the oldest on pointe in front of 1,000 people. And she looked good! She knew her dance. She was in sync with the other dancers, all in all a great performance. And at half way through, she fell. Hard. And I worried that she may be hurt. But I was more worried that she hurt her pride. The easy way out would have been to lie there or run off stage. I think I may have. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I would have.
But my oldest, fell hard and without missing a beat got up. And danced. Even got back on pointe the very next step. And I couldn't have been prouder of her. She's a good kid. I need to remember that. And tell her that. She definitely has built character over her lifetime.
I was proud of myself as well. I didn't rush to her aid, because I'm pretty sure we both would have fallen apart. And when I did see her backstage a few songs later and she asked, "Did you see me fall?" I told her, "No. I saw you get up."
I guess we built a lot of character tonight.

Two words or less

Well, I don't know what you'd call my life right now. Crazy. Busy. Off the chain. Out of control. Whirlwind....You choose. Feel free to leave me a comment so I can accurately describe it two words or less.
I continued to work this week. I was able to take Friday off. While the oldest was still in D.C. partaking in the sights and sounds of our nation's capitol from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily. The boy had to get to swim lessons (thank goodness for my mother-in-law for this and just because she's good people and loves me and my kids). The youngest had horse camp all day every day (and we threw in having a friend spend the night) and recital practice three nights this week (ok, only two but I accidentally took her when she didn't need to be there, better than not taking her when she was supposed to go, right?). The oldest had dance rehearsal when she returned. Then, today was dress rehearsal. Did I mention I help back stage for two shows? I like it, except for the heat, the noise, the less than positive attitudes (more from parents than kids), the people not following instructions (both parents and kids), the hunger, the running, the headset digging into my ear...But, don't misunderstand, I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it. I like knowing that I can help to run the amazing show our studio, and my kids, put on. I like that I have some experience and can share that, if you're willing to listen. I like that, even though my own kids don't always listen to me, other peoples kids tend  to listen and I'm good with them. In fact, I'm better to other people's kids than my own. I need to work on that. I like, that in this environment, I've made some really good friends.
And that, dear reader, is the least of it. I start my first class in Educational Leadership, a three-week class, starting Monday at 8 a.m. I won't get home from recital until after a 12 plus hour day which will start about 9. Well, 8 if you count getting the girls ready before I leave. Back to the class. I have an assignment due the first day. Have I done it? What do you think? Of course I haven't! And I don't know how I'll have time now. That's why I'm adding blogging to my day. I needed one more thing to do. Also feel free to comment on what the *mmmm my artifact should be that reflects my philosophy on education. Good grief! How am I going to pull this one off?
Tell me, please. In two words or less.
*The boy told the oldest this week: "What the mmmmm? I say mmmmm because I don't know any cuss words, hence the mmmmmmmm."