My kids are driving me nuts, and they're not out of school until tomorrow! I love them. I really do. And I'd do anything for them. Most notably, I would literally, not just figuratively, lay down my life for them. I know this, I don't just think it. When our oldest was born much too early I made a deal with God that if someone had to go, I wanted God to pick me. Fortunately we are both still here. Although, some days I wonder if we are both going to make it through her adolescence.
I really should not check tweet deck or work e-mails when I'm 'out', but being the tech junkie I am of course I do just that. While out, feeling sorry for myself because: a) the end of the school year is really busy; b) dance recital is a little over a week away and we'll be busy with that; c) there's no way humanly possible to get all that I need to get done at work DONE by next Friday (or next month for that matter); d) I continued to battle a headache into the evening; e) I'm worried about a three week class I'm taking this summer; f) for all of the above and any other minor mole hills I've allowed to become mountains. Then I checked tweet deck. Wrong move.
Tears streamed down my face, I felt like a selfish bitch unable to deal with my own issues when there are real problems that people face. Riley lost her five year battle with cancer yesterday. She was ten, almost eleven. She died in her home, in her mother's arms. And as you will see in the link I've shared below, her family says she left her mother's arms and went right into the arms of Jesus. I continued to cry. Because I was sad. Because I felt guilty about my own selfishness. Even because I felt peace that Riley had found hers.
And I kept reading. Not only had Riley passed, she greeted her grandfather in Heaven when he arrived that same day. Riley's mom thinks her dad (Riley's Grandpa) was ready to go, but needed Riley to go first.
I can't comprehend this. I get it on an intellectual level; but how does this work on a spiritual level? Riley understood the spiritual much better than I ever will. So I hugged my kids tight, and gave thanks that they are healthy, although I complain about their allergies and minor ailments, they ARE healthy and well. I told them I loved them and I let them see my tears. I shared the story of Riley and her family. They didn't understand, and they shouldn't have to.
And then today, while this was still on my mind I yelled at my kids. I said hurtful things to them. And generally lost my cool. Selfish and ungrateful me. I'll continue to be ungrateful and a generally a sarcastic bitch. Yet I'll remain sentimental and continue to give a damn; not because I should, but because I genuinely do care.
The Daily Reflector - Cancer battle ends for Riley Philpot
I really should not check tweet deck or work e-mails when I'm 'out', but being the tech junkie I am of course I do just that. While out, feeling sorry for myself because: a) the end of the school year is really busy; b) dance recital is a little over a week away and we'll be busy with that; c) there's no way humanly possible to get all that I need to get done at work DONE by next Friday (or next month for that matter); d) I continued to battle a headache into the evening; e) I'm worried about a three week class I'm taking this summer; f) for all of the above and any other minor mole hills I've allowed to become mountains. Then I checked tweet deck. Wrong move.
Tears streamed down my face, I felt like a selfish bitch unable to deal with my own issues when there are real problems that people face. Riley lost her five year battle with cancer yesterday. She was ten, almost eleven. She died in her home, in her mother's arms. And as you will see in the link I've shared below, her family says she left her mother's arms and went right into the arms of Jesus. I continued to cry. Because I was sad. Because I felt guilty about my own selfishness. Even because I felt peace that Riley had found hers.
And I kept reading. Not only had Riley passed, she greeted her grandfather in Heaven when he arrived that same day. Riley's mom thinks her dad (Riley's Grandpa) was ready to go, but needed Riley to go first.
I can't comprehend this. I get it on an intellectual level; but how does this work on a spiritual level? Riley understood the spiritual much better than I ever will. So I hugged my kids tight, and gave thanks that they are healthy, although I complain about their allergies and minor ailments, they ARE healthy and well. I told them I loved them and I let them see my tears. I shared the story of Riley and her family. They didn't understand, and they shouldn't have to.
And then today, while this was still on my mind I yelled at my kids. I said hurtful things to them. And generally lost my cool. Selfish and ungrateful me. I'll continue to be ungrateful and a generally a sarcastic bitch. Yet I'll remain sentimental and continue to give a damn; not because I should, but because I genuinely do care.
The Daily Reflector - Cancer battle ends for Riley Philpot
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